HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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