So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
no. you can't hotbox the world.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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