You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
