I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
