Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
