i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize