She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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