its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There r osticjed everywhere
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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