My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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