I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
