I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
