I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
