it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
