Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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