I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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