I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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