there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
