I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize