That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
