You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
