My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
