no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
