Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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