omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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