she smelled like a LAN party
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
