Having a random hookup so left but love u
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
