Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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