guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize