i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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