It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
