dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
