don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Sober January is a disaster.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
