I could have mohawked her pubes.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
