You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My feet surprised me
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
