Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i was born a porn star she said
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
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