HIV tests are more positive than that guy
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
