Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Randomize
