I like to think it a success when the cops are called
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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