Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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