He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize