Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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