You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
