No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The power of my boobs compel you
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize