we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
