Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
