Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
