Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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