:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize