Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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