how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
