we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
