Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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