I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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