If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
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