So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
