i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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