Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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