i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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