3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
