soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
