I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
