Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
