I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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