question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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